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Eli Rayfield
My New Year’s resolution for the year 2000 was to reach enlightenment within the next ten years. I learned of Falun Dafa on approximately April 10, 2000. I found it while searching on the internet for information on Bigu, hoping to be able to learn such a skill. I was brought to the eighth lecture of Zhuan Falun, I didn't like what it said of Bigu. I sought many skills at that time. After a few minutes, I thought there was no use in continuing. By the next day, I had to read more. I averaged about a chapter per day, never considering stopping. There seemed to be a force driving me to learn, after finishing the internet version, I naturally bought the book. I soon taught myself the exercises from internet movies. For the first two months, there was never a question as to whether or not I would continue reading and practicing. Over the summer, I was able to read for over ten hours per day, practicing the exercises when I was unable to read. I was unable to ask any questions, so I simply continued to learn through self-study. After a month, I found a practice group that was able to help me with the exercises. The more exposure to practitioners I received, the better I understood Falun Dafa. After two and a half months, a difficult tribulation entered my cultivation. I suddenly stopped wanting to practice the movements. I felt like I was back where I had started. Nothing seemed able to remove me from my slump. Perhaps the part of me that had cultivated well had been separated. I am unsure, since it was after only two months. I longed for the chance to be with fellow practitioners, feeling desperately alone. I needed to go to the upcoming Washington DC conference. My wishful thinking led me to believe that my diligence would return after being with so many practitioners. I soon learned that external factors couldn't save me, I'd have to change fundamentally. There is no better time to cultivate than the present. Procrastination is a hideous attachment, related to laziness. I have now been practicing for nine months, its becoming
more common for me to do the sitting meditation for the full hour now.
I hope that I will continue doing the exercises regularly. There are many
questions that come into my life, but since the answers aren't immediate,
I must simply try to remain calm and act as a practitioner. At first, I
was afraid to make any changes in my life, believing that that would be
straying away from the flow. Very few rivers travel in a straight line.
Whatever I do, as long as I am acting well, it should be fine. To refuse
to change is to fall into stagnation. Most problems seem to occur when
I haven’t been studying the Fa or practicing enough. Many times, a problem
may seem like the iceberg that sunk the Titanic, but after calming down
and studying, when you reexamine the problem, it’s become water vapor.
As Master says “one righteous mind can eliminate one hundred evils”. I
often tried to force myself to give up attachments, but they seemed to
only come back even stronger when I gave up. By concentrating on eliminating
a certain attachment, you are actually giving your energy to that attachment.
By refusing to worry about it and acting in an upright manner, the cancer
will simply fall off. If you had tried to rip it off before, you could
have caused yourself great damage and it may have spread. A disciple must
always strive to progress, but he should try to improve fundamentally rather
than making merely superficial changes. No matter what tests (opportunities
for growth) we are given, I hope that we will continue to strive forward
towards consummation. As Master says: “One is able to endure what seems
hard to endure, and one is able to do what seems impossible to do.” “If
you can really make it, you will find yourself in dark willows and blooming
flowers, indeed, another village ahead!”
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